“You're marrying a woman you've never had sex with? Are you insane? Didn't you see 'The Crying Game'? You think she's got the goods under her skirt, you lift it up, it's Oscar Mayer time!”
Greg Kinnear - Perry Gordon

“I certainly had him pegged wrong, didn’t I? I thought he was just a rat, but he was a super rat all along - a super rat in rat’s clothing”
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly

“I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.”
Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff

“- George: That hurt.
- Beatrice Stanhope: Not as much as you will if you do anything to screw up my daughter's marriage to Lyle Van de Groot.”

Brendan Fraser - George
Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope

“- Arthur Stanhope: Beatrice, this is supposed to be her wedding, not yours. I know you're upset, and so am I, but we can't force her to marry someone against her will.
- Beatrice Stanhope: Why not?
- Ursula Stanhope: Mom, dad, I'm ready to go out there and apologize to everybody and tell them what really happened.”

John Bennett Perry - Arthur Stanhope
Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope
Leslie Mann - Ursula Stanhope