“He's a terrible ladies' man. I suppose that's forgivable, because he's surrounded by so many beautiful women.”

Myrna Loy - Billie Burke

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I have to go on a date with this woman. Why can't I just say no?
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I don't know, why can't you?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I can't alienate these women, I need body count at the temple.
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

“In order to choose your lovers wisely, you need to understand men. No matter their shape or size... position or wealth... they all dream of the temptress. The irresistible... unapproachable Venus... who quickly turns pliable maiden when they've had a hard day.”

Jacqueline Bisset - Paola Franco

“You see an attractive woman, living on her own, you wonder: is she a roaring lesbian? Answer, no! For your information, I've been married and divorced three times. Once to an actor, once to an English lord and once to a Californian.”
Rut Bernardi - Evie

“- Kate: I'm sorry, I'm a little overly thorough. Some people would say that I am bossy and controlling.
- Rob: No, that's just prejudice. They call you bossy and controlling because you're a woman. But if you were a man doing the same stuff... you'd just be a dick.”
Tina Fey - Kate
Greg Kinnear - Rob