“- Sissy: Well, I just thought we'd go to McDonald's.
- Bud: Dammit, McDonald's again?”
Debra Winger - Sissy
John Travolta - Bud

“When I see a cake, I see a forest fire.”
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle

“You are useless Ignacio! Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?”

Enrique Muñoz - Señor Ramon

“I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“- Sardu: Time to recoup your energy. Ralphus has made some chicken soup for you. There. He made it especially for you.
- Natasha Di Natalie: Mmm.
- Sardu: Delicious?
- Ralphus: My mother taught me. I used the whole chicken. The secret is cooking it alive.”
Seamus O'Brien - Sardu
Viju Krem - Natasha Di Natalie
Luis De Jesus - Ralphus