“If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman.”
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“- Mom: Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer, lots of them.
- Scotty Smalls: Yeah, I know. But I'm not good at anything, mom. Face it, I'm just an egghead.”
Karen Allen - Mom
Tom Guiry - Scotty Smalls

“You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog. That's bad even for you.”

Bill Murray - Garfield

“- Rosie: I'll be a beautiful young woman, and you be Robbie. Now, ask me out.
- Robbie Hart: You know, I'm really not comfortable...
- Rosie: Hello, sir. Was there something you wanted to ask me?
- Robbie Hart: Fine. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
- Rosie: No. Your penis is too small.”

Ellen Albertini Dow - Rosie
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Sophia Gold: Oh my God! America just told me that the neighbors are coming!
- Sally Therrian: And here they are!
- Sophia Gold: Oh! And she was just saying how happy you were to finally have them over! Because the two of you are so... introspective and shy. Should have done it ages ago, basically.”
Phoebe Cates - Sophia Gold
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Sally Therrian