“This is the most exciting place in the world to live. There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“- Chon Wang: He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!”

Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Roy O'Bannon: It's just a rock with some gibberish on it!
- Chon Wang: It's Chinese!”

Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious.”

Tom Fisher - Artie Doyle

“You got me hard as Chinese arithmetic in here!”

D.L. Hughley - Derrick West