“Yes, I know a stalker died! It had to happen sooner or later! Well, it is a contact sport, okay? You want ratings. You want people in front of the television instead of picket lines. Well, you're not gonna get that with re-runs of Gilligan's Island.”

Richard Dawson - Damon Killian

“- Jack McDermott: You told me you played for the New York Rangers.
- Billy Caufield: Are you saying I didn't?
- Dr. Weitzman: Attacking a referee on the ice doesn't make you a hockey player either.”
Peter Boyle - Jack McDermott
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield
Dennis Boutsikaris - Dr. Weitzman

“I'm not a violence person! I write about boxing and hockey and football!”
Woody Allen - Lenny

“One doesn't easily forget, Herr Baron, an arm torn out by the roots.”

Lionel Atwill - Inspector Krogh

“Alright, Joseph, you conduct the law your way on random sentimentality and you will have violence and disorder.”
Ronald Colman - Professor Michael Lightcap