“- Jack Byrnes: We use the Ferber method.
- Bernie Focker: We use the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little boy like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“- Jimmy: You know I was a bed wetter?
- Oz: You don't do it anymore, do you?
- Jimmy: When I was 12 I saw my father naked in a shower.
- Oz: Well, that's probably why you wet the bed. Very Freudian. Jungian.”
Bruce Willis - Jimmy
Matthew Perry - Oz

“Eggiwegs...I would like to smash 'em, and pick 'em all up and throw...owww!! Fucking hell!”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

“- Freddy Nefler: You'll be much less neurotic if your parents are happily divorced, rather than unhappily married.
- Phyllis Nefler: Thank you, Phil Donahue.
- Freddy Nefler: I saw it on Oprah!”
Craig T. Nelson - Freddy Nefler
Shelley Lee Long - Phyllis Nefler

“Dear Diary, I am writing in your bullshit pages because my shrink is crazier then I am. He thinks you're therapy.”
Annabella Sciorra - Annie Collins-Nielsen