- "Dancer": A guy comes in and buys a drink. He goes out and somebody kills him. What are we supposed to do? Give the customers insurance with the drinks?
- Nick Charles: Not a badidea.
Joseph Calleia - "Dancer"
William Powell - Nick Charles

“Now why don't you just take it easy, Group Captain, and please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater, and help yourself to whatever you'd like.”
Sterling Hayden - Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper

“A wedding is a sacrament... a joyous celebration of love and commitment. In utopia. In the real world... it's an excuse to drink excessively and say things you shouldn't say.”
Dermot Mulroney - Nick Mercer

“- Bartender: You've had enough for one afternoon, buddy.
- Bob Morales: Put it back on! That dude's my brother!
- Bartender: Yeah and I'm your Irish uncle, leave it off!”

John Quade - Bartender
Esai Morales - Bob Morales

“- Clark Griswold: I'll have a Coke.
- Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
- Clark Griswold: [Clark turns and looks at the bathroom, then turns back at the Stewardess] No, I'll have it right here.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Wendy Goldman - Stewardess