“- Worm: What did I ever do to that guy?
- Mike McDermott: You fucked his mother.
- Worm: [amused] Yeah but she was a good looking older woman you gotta give me that.”
Edward Norton - Worm
Matt Damon - Mike McDermott

“Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.”
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”

Amy Poehler - Mrs. George

“I made love to your mother about half an hourago, and now I'm beginning to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.”

Thomas Jay Ryan - Henry Fool

“- Newton's Mother: Newton! What are you doing up there?
- Newton: I'm up in my room with some friends, Mom!
- Hailey: I want to have your baby.”

David Cross - Newton
Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine - Hailey