“Every time you hear about some famous guy overdosing on drugs, it's always some really talented guy. It's always like Len Bias, or Janis Joplin, or Jimi Hendrix, or John Belushi. You know what I mean? The people you wanna have overdose on drugs never would! Like Motley Crue would never fucking overdose man, never!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“It seems to me hilarious that our government put the face of Elvis Presley on a postage stamp after he died from an overdose of drugs. His fans don’t mention that because they don’t want to give up their myths. They ignore the fact that he was a drug addict and claim he invented rock ‘n’ roll when in fact he took it from black culture.”
Marlon Brando On Elvis Presley

“- Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
- Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
John P. Navin Jr. - Cousin Dale

“Uh-oh. Get out the Alka-Seltzer.”
Barry Corbin - Uncle Bob

“I can feel my hair growing.”

Doris Roberts - Grandma Lilly