“- His Excellency: I presume your funeral was satisfactory.
- Henry Van Cleve: Well, there was a lot of crying, so I believe everybody had a good time.”
Laird Cregar - His Excellency
Don Ameche - Henry Van Cleve

“- Dysentery: Since when do we give a toss about this kind of bullshit?
- Punk Girl: Shut up, Dysentery! Where's your sense of national flipping pride?”

Ed Stobart - Dysentery
Gedren Heller - Punk Girl

“Dust to dust, ash to ash. Let's take him downstairs and burn his ass.”

Isaac Hayes - Aloysius

Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?".

Lloyd Bridges - Adm. Thomas 'Tug' Benson

“- Spider: What do you want to do, Scuz, turn over gravestones?
- Scuz: No, I just want to look around the graveyard - I never seen one before.
- Spider: Haven't you ever been to a funeral?
- Scuz: I never knew anyone that died.”
Miguel A. Núñez Jr. - Spider
Brian Peck - Scuz