- Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal".
- Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask about the charcoal in your mouth?
- Bobby Jay Bliss: There's not a law against charcoal.
- Polly Bailey, Nick Naylor: Yet.
Maria Bello - Polly Bailey
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor
David Koechner - Bobby Jay Bliss

“The filter's the best part. That's where they put the heroin.”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Keith Richards said that we should not do drugs. We can't do anymore drugs, because you already fuckin' did them all! There's none left, we have to wait until you die so we can smoke you're ashes, alright!”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“- P.K. Dubey: The Peacocks are not dancing. It will not rain.
- Lalit Verma: The Peacocks are not dancing? It will not rain? Have you smoked Ganja?”
Vijay Raaz - Parabatlal Kanhaiyalal 'P.K.' Dubey
Naseeruddin Shah - Lalit Verma

“- Jesse Montgomery III: Nelson, your dog's a stoner!
- Chester Greenburg: Can he also bong a beer?
- Nelson: Nah, all he does is pretty much lie around and smoke his pipe.”
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg
David Herman - Nelson