“- The Coachman: I'm collecting stupid little boys.
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Stupid little boys?
- The Coachman: The disobedient ones who play hooky from school.”
Charles Judels - The Coachman
Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow

“- Henry Lowndes: Are you stupid enough to believe that I'd leave you here with my wife?
- Bill Cardew: Your wife?
- Henry Lowndes: Or anybody's wife?”

Melvyn Douglas - Henry Lowndes
Fred MacMurray - Bill Cardew

“- Smokey Adams: Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- Pomeroy Watson: Yeah, and I come out the same way.”
Bud Abbott - Smokey Adams
Lou Costello - Pomeroy Watson

- Pvt. Aloysius K. "Smacksie" Randall: The dumber those guys get, the more stripes you get.
- Pvt. Joe Doyle: You oughta look like a zebra.
William Bendix - Pvt. Aloysius K. "Smacksie" Randall
Robert Preston - Pvt. Joe Doyle

“You know guns don't kill people, stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people!”
Chris Tucker - Franklin Hatchett