“- Gail Hailstorm: If you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words to her have been?
- Shorty Meeks: Run bitch, run!”
Cheri Oteri - Gail Hailstorm
Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks

- Julie James: Please... it was an accident!
- Benjamin Willis: I know all about "accidents", and let me give you some advice: when you leave a man for dead, make sure that he's really dead!

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Julie James
Muse Watson - Benjamin Willis

Sorry, I've never been on “Oprah”.
Lela Rochon - Robin Stokes

“You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.”
Peter Dante - Dante

“Put a little mota in your love life.”
Esai Morales - Bob Morales