“- Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
- Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
- Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold

“If it bleeds, it leads!”
Kelsey Grammer - Robert Hawkins

“You lost a lot of blood but we found most of it.”
Jay Mohr - Anthony 'Tony' Cortino

“- Mike McDermott: What happened?
- Worm: Nothing, she closed her legs too fast!”

Matt Damon - Mike McDermott
Edward Norton - Worm

“- Dr. Suzanne Carter: What are you doing here?
- Paul Blake: Well, I'm kinda bleeding in your doorway. Can I come in?
- Dr. Suzanne Carter: Sure. Didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?”
Harley Jane Kozak - Dr. Suzanne Carter
Scott Bakula - Paul Blake