“- Pierre: Did he say chateau? Surely they are not staying at the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor.
- Marcie: Yes they are, Mal Voisin.
- Pierre: But that is terrible! They cannot stay there!
- Patty: Why not, Pierre?
- Pierre: They could be in great danger!”
Pascale de Barolet - Pierre
Casey Carlson - Marcie
Roseline Rubens - Patty

“- Richard Gecko: Well what do they got?
- Seth Gecko: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.”

Quentin Tarantino - Richard Gecko
George Clooney - Seth Gecko

“I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels smell like Downy Fabric Softener.”
Cameron Diaz - Freddie Clayton

“If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.”
Roberto Benigni - Driver - Rome

“- Daniel Miller: What is this?
- Julia: It's my hotel.
- Daniel Miller: This is your hotel?
- Julia: Where are you staying?
- Daniel Miller: Obviously at the place for people that weren't very generous and didn't adopt anybody. I'm at the Continental. Come over one day; we'll paint it.”
Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller
Meryl Streep - Julia