“- Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
- Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
John P. Navin Jr. - Cousin Dale

“Uh-oh. Get out the Alka-Seltzer.”
Barry Corbin - Uncle Bob

“I can feel my hair growing.”

Doris Roberts - Grandma Lilly

“I want you to take the Frankenstein shit, the deer shit, the green monster, the bling and the bling-bling... and I want you to roll it all into one joint.”
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Alex: That's quite a buffet you have there.
- Bea: Thank you, Mr. President.”

Allen Covert - Alex
Shirley Knight - Bea