“- Lou Peckinpaugh: You mean you married your own father?
- Mrs. Montenegro: It's not like you think. It was a simple wedding, done very tastefully.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. Montenegro

“Do you know what the Bible says about fucking your own sister? Don't.”
Richard Jenkins - Walter Wingfield

“- Walter Wingfield: I thought I told you to get a haircut.
- Valdine Wingfield: Give him a break, he's been through a lot.
- Walter Wingfield: Including his own sister.”

Richard Jenkins - Walter Wingfield
Sally Field - Valdine Wingfield

“- Jimmy Mitchelson: He wants to marry his sister.
- Freddy: He better not come back.
- Jimmy Mitchelson: That's right, or we'll tie you to a tree, fuck you in the ass while we jerk you off. Show you what we really do to perverts around here.”
Mark Pellegrino - Jimmy Mitchelson
Henry Cho - Freddy

“Sweet Lord. You ponied your sister.”
Sally Field - Valdine Wingfield