“- Harmony: Don't say that to her! There is too a Santa, and this is his magic sack!
- Lacy: If that's Santa's sack, why do you have it?”

Noelle Parker - Harmony
Phran Gauci - Lacy

“Santa's in the slammer! We gotta get him out! Is vagrancy a capital crime?”
Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell

“- Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?
- B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.
- Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.”
Dudley Moore - Patch
John Lithgow - B.Z.

“- Herb: There's a girl there who will do anything you want for fifty dollars an hour.
- Ed Okin: Like what?
- Herb: Anything! If you want she'll dress like Santa Claus!
- Ed Okin: Will she bring me a pony?”
Dan Aykroyd - Herb
Jeff Goldblum - Ed Okin

“- Hallie O'Fallon: I'm gonna ask Santa to get them back together again so we can have us back together again.
- Ethan O'Fallon: Now look Hallie, you can't ask Santa Claus for that
- Hallie O'Fallon: Why not?
- Ethan O'Fallon: Well because... he's jolly... he's a jolly fat guy and not a marriage counseller.”

Thora Birch - Hallie O'Fallon
Ethan Embry - Ethan O'Fallon