“Well I would love to sell you some weed, Jeremy, but I'm at my fucking job right now. Obviously, because you called me at work, you know that I'm at my place of work, so I can't just leave here and sell you some weed. I can sell you some weed when I'm done.”

Jonah Hill - Matthew the Waiter

“- Vivian: You dropped out of high school?
- Eliot: It was an option. I wanted to join the workforce.
- Vivian: What do you do?
- Eliot: I sell pot.”
Natasha Lyonne - Vivian
Kevin Corrigan - Eliot

“- Jimmy Jump: I wanna know who I'm selling drugs to, you know what I mean?
- Joey Dalesio: You don't sell drugs, my brother. You shoot people.
- Jimmy Jump: Yo, I'm unemployed. Ain't nobody left.”
Laurence Fishburne - Jimmy Jump
Paul Calderon - Joey Dalesio

“- Rosalie: They look like drug addicts.
- Devo: Well, they are drug addicts.
- Rosalie: Oh my God! You hired drug addicts?
- Devo: Who'd you expect me to hire? The Red Cross?”
Tracey Ullman - Rosalie
River Phoenix - Devo

- Paula: I'll probably re-watch "Gandhi".
- Cal: "Gandhi" baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off.

Jane Lynch - Paula
Seth Rogen - Cal