“- Emilio Lopez: How can I thank you?
- Longfellow Deeds: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
- Emilio Lopez: Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
- Longfellow Deeds: Alright.”
John Turturro - Emilio Lopez
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“We're talking about money for Christ's sake, we're talking about cards. Friendship is friendship and a wonderful thing and I'm all for it. I never said different, and you know me on this thing, but let's just keep it separate. Let's keep the two apart and we can deal with each other like some human beings.”
Dustin Hoffman - Teach

“- Joe Bradley: Irving! Am I glad to see you!
- Irving Radovich: Why? Did you forget your wallet?”
Gregory Peck - Joe Bradley
Eddie Albert - Irving Radovich

“- Rizzo the Rat: I sold my collection of rare cheese to buy you this crystal petri dish for your mold collection.
- The Great Gonzo: I sold my mold collection to buy you this diamond-tipped cheese slicer.
- Rizzo the Rat: Did you save the receipt?”
Steve Whitmire - Rizzo the Rat
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo

“- Jack Brown: Why me? Of all the stuff in the store, why did you pick me?
- Eric Bates: You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.
- Jack Brown: So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.”

Richard Pryor - Jack Brown
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates