“- Grandpa Gustafson: Relax. Kids swallow quarters all the time.
- Melanie Gustafson: Really?
- Grandpa Gustafson: Sure. If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying.”
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Daryl Hannah - Melanie Gustafson

“- Subotai: Food... food! I have not eaten for days.
- Conan: And who says you will?”
Gerry Lopez - Subotai
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Conan

“- Quincy McCall: I took the hoe to Burger King.
- Monica Wright: Cheap date.”
Omar Epps - Quincy McCall
Sanaa Lathan - Monica Wright

“Well am I gonna eat, or am I gonna starve to death?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna

“- Yen Sun: I know what you've come to do. You've come to lay with me and cut me into tiny pieces. You're the bandit that eats children and old people.
- Josiah Gordon 'Doc' Scurlock: I eat meat and potatoes.”
Alice Carter - Yen Sun
Kiefer Sutherland - Josiah Gordon 'Doc' Scurlock