“- Greg Focker: Plus, you got another guy around the house to leave the seat up.
- Jack Byrnes: [long pause] He can't lift the seat, Greg. He lacks the strength and opposable thumbs.”

Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes

“Not only could he understand me, but it turns out he's a doctor! Look, not even a scar! And it hurt so bad. I don't know what I would have done without him.”

Jenna Elfman - Owl

“- Ella's Mother: Do you still believe that they understand you?
- Ella: Don't they, Mother?
- Ella's Mother: Oh yes. I believe that animals listen and speak to us if we only have the ear for it. That's how we learn to look after them.”
Hayley Atwell - Ella's Mother
Eloise Webb - Ella (10 years)

“- Cindy: Girls have to do everything. Boys are totally clueless when it comes to sex. It starts with them trying to unhook our bras, fumbling around, and it never changes. Wait until they try to put their dick into you.
- Diana: Please don't say they need help with that.
- Cindy: Always.”
Kristen Miller - Cindy
Jessica Driscoll - Diana, Principal's Secretary

“- Larry Johnson: Y'know, maybe there is nothin' wrong with us, maybe it's just in our heads.
- Muggsy Bogues: Yeah, we're all right. It's just some psychosomatic deal, or something to do with the alignment of the Moon or another planet.”

Larry Johnson - Himself
Tyrone Bogues - Muggsy Bogues