“This is a war! A war between men and women. Anything short of cannibalism is just beating around the bush.”
Adrienne Barbeau - Dr. Kurtz

“- Jack Byrnes: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is?
- Greg Focker: Love… friendship... enjoying the moment... living... just love.
- Jack Byrnes: His legacy.
- Greg Focker: That, too. Right, yeah. Sure.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

- Elle: I have dubious morals, you know.
- Lui: What do you call "having dubious morals"?
- Elle: Being dubious about other people's morals.
Emmanuelle Riva - Elle
Eiji Okada - Lui

“- Dave Novotny: I don't need a lecture on ethics.
- Jim McAllister: I'm not talking about ethics, I'm talking about morals.
- Dave Novotny: What's the difference?”

Mark Harelik - Dave Novotny
Matthew Broderick - Jim McAllister

“- Coach Kilmer: Give him the shot!
- Mox: If you give him that shot, you can find yourself another fucking quarterback.
- Coach Kilmer: You about ready to lose that scholarship, boy?
- Mox: If it keeps that needle out of his leg? Absolutely.
- Coach Kilmer: Good.
- Mox: Fuck it, I'm out.”

Jon Voight - Coach Kilmer
James Van Der Beek - Mox