“- Chon Wang: Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of a field?
- Roy O'Bannon: I don't know; these people are nuts.”
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Hudson Hawk: What's with all these stones in people's backyard?
- Tommy Five-Tone: That is called ruins...”

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk
Danny Aiello - Tommy Five-Tone

“Hey, how many of you people out here are a national monument? Raise your hand, please? Oh, hello, Miss!”

Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“- Irene Cara: Are you always dressed like that?
- Tyrone: [as Uncle Sam] No, last week I was the Statue of Liberty, but I couldn't get the crown on over my curlers.”
Herself - Irene Cara
Charlie Barnett - Tyrone

“- Middle Jamal: [seeing the Taj Mahal] Is this heaven?
- Middle Salim: You're not dead Jamal.
- Middle Jamal: What is it? Some hotel?”
Tanay Chheda - Middle Jamal
Ashutosh Lobo Gajiwala - Middle Salim