“- Steven M. Kovacs: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.
- The Cable Guy: Tho?”
Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

There's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say: "I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit". There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.
Steve Martin - Navin

- Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women.
- Andy: You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I went to magic camp? That I'm an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I am the Seventh Degree Imperial Yo-Yo Master. "Ooh, do me, Yo-Yo Master, I want you to do me cause you're the yo-yo guy!".
Seth Rogen - Cal
Steve Carrell - Andy

“- Muriel Pritchett: Just call for no reason. Call and talk.
- Macon: Talk?
- Muriel Pritchett: Sure. Talk about Edward, his problems. Talk about anything. Pick up the phone and just talk. Don't you ever get the urge to do that?
- Macon: Not really.”
Geena Davis - Muriel
William Hurt - Macon

“- Sheila: You need sunglasses. I read that if you don't have them on the beach this year people will talk about you.
- Mrs. Kehoe: [Witheringly] And what will they say, exactly, Sheila?
- Dolores: That's the thing, Mrs Kehoe. You'd never know, because they'd never say it to your face.”
Nora-Jane Noone - Sheila
Julie Walters - Mrs. Kehoe
Jenn Murray - Dolores