“- Violet Sanford: Look, are you really the owner? 'Cause I've had a rough couple of days and so the last thing I need is some waitress on a power trip wastin' my time.
- Lil: You start Friday night.”
Piper Perabo - Violet Sanford
Maria Bello - Lil

“- Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath looks like you really got your hands full.
- Cousin Catherine: Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Miriam Flynn - Cousin Catherine

“A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations.”
Harry Dean Stanton - Bud

“- Ole Golly: Your father has a high pressure job.
- Harriet M. Welsch: What's a high pressure job?
- Ole Golly: It's when you don't get to do what you want to, and when you do, you don't have enough time for it.”
Rosie O'Donnell - Ole Golly
Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet M. Welsch

“- Harriet M. Welsch: Do spies have high pressure jobs?
- Ole Golly: Only if they get caught.
- Harriet M. Welsch: I never get caught.”
Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet M. Welsch
Rosie O'Donnell - Ole Golly