“- Interviewer: Tell me. Joe or Joseph, why do you want to be a doctor?
- Joe Slovak: That's easy. I want to help people.
- Interviewer: Come one Joe, you can be honest with me. Why do you want to be a doctor?
- Joe Slovak: Well, uh, I want to make lots of money.”
Matthew Modine - Joe Slovak

“If you think that's bad, wait until you get my bill.”

Larry Drake - Doctor Evan Rendell

“- Porthos: Aramis! You sawed the beam! You knew I would I try to hang myself and you sawed the beam! Admit it. Admit it!
- Aramis: Of course I knew! And now that you've got the idea of killing yourself out of your head you can stop boring everyone and be useful for a change. And put some clothes on!”

Gérard Depardieu - Porthos
Jeremy Irons - Aramis

“- Martin Geldheart: What is the one thing that landscape architecture requires?
- Art Student: A social motif.
- Martin Geldheart: Right.”
Timothy Hutton - Martin Geldhart
Mary Fortune - Art Student

“At first, Xi tried the thing out to cure thongs; it had the right shape and just the right weight. It was also beautifully smooth and ideal for curing snakeskin. And Pabo discovered you could make music on it... and every day they discovered a new use for the thing.”

Paddy O'Byrne - Narrator