“- Graydon: The success of our planet and domination of the universe rests in your hands.
- Harold Anderson: Thank you, sir.
- Graydon: Now if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange for your transfer, and attach your penis.”
Ben Kingsley - Graydon
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

- Michael "Mike" Ward: He's a worm - the kind you ought to jump on with heavy boots.
- Martin: You'll have to do an awful lot of jumping. The Earth is covered with them.

John McGuire - Michael "Mike" Ward
Cliff Clark - Martin

“- Ling Tan: How can you dig such a thing without help? The Earth is stubborn.
- Ling Tan's Wife: Heaven gave me the thought. Heaven will provide the help. The shovel is there.”
Walter Huston - Ling Tan
Aline MacMahon - Ling Tan's Wife

“The Earth was created in six days; so too shall it be destroyed; and on the seventh day, mankind will rest... in peace!”
Brian Thompson - Shao-Kahn

They were a group of intergalactic refugees. Wanted to the use the earth as an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet. Did you ever seen the movie "Casablanca"? Same thing, except no Nazis. We agreed, and we concealed all the evidence of their landing.

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay