“- Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.
- Elliott: A bald monkey?
- Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.”

Robert MacNaughton - Michael
Henry Thomas - Elliott
Drew Barrymore - Gertie

“- Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.
- Elliott: A bald monkey?
- Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.”

Robert MacNaughton - Michael
Henry Thomas - Elliott
Drew Barrymore - Gertie

“- Kay: We are the best kept secret in the galaxy. We monitor, licence and police all alien activity on the Earth. We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret, we exist in shadow.
- Jay: And we dress in black.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Will Smith - Jay

“All right, kid, here's the deal. At any given time there are approximately 1500 aliens on the planet, most of them right here in Manhattan. And most of them are decent enough, they're just trying to make a living.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan island in a brand new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay