“- Keno: Who? What? Where? How?
- Donatello: Well, I guess that leaves out 'why' and 'when', doesn't it?”

Ernie Reyes Jr. - Keno
Leif Tilden - Donatello

“- Professor Porter: Looks like a man but walks like an ape. He could be the missing link!
- Clayton: Or our link to the gorillas.”
Nigel Hawthorne - Professor Porter
Brian Blessed - Clayton

“- Uncle Martin: Martians use 100% of their brain while humans only use 10%.
- Tim O'Hara: No, we're smarter than that.
- Uncle Martin: Your astronauts pee in their spacesuits. Case closed.”
Chris Lloyd - Uncle Martin
Jeff Daniels - Tim O'Hara

“Look at 'em. They're cattle; pieces of meat. What difference does it make how their world ends? Plague... war... famine. Morality doesn't even enter into it. We're just a function of natural selection, man. The new race.”

Stephen Dorff - Deacon Frost

“I'm not an idealist. I know a lot of things that people do are awful low, but that's between them and God.”
Ken Jenkins - Capt. Tom Pickett