“- Howard T. Duck: Philsy, help! Philsy, help me!
- Phil Blumburtt: Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.
- Howard T. Duck: Shut up and save me!”

Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck
Tim Robbins - Phil Blumburtt

“- Tip: I can't swim.
- Richie: Grow fins, turkey.”
Eric Lalich - Tip
Matt Dillon - Richie

“- Doug Remer: Your bed is over here.
[indicates a dog bed]
- Squeak Scolari: Dude, that is so fuckin' weak! How am I supposed to get a chick in that?
- Joe Cooper: Oh, don't worry, dude. You couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper.”
Matt Stone - Doug Remer
Dian Bachar - Squeak Scolari
Trey Parker - Joe Cooper

“There is no such thing as tough. There is trained and untrained. Now which are you?”

Denzel Washington - John W. Creasy

“If you're gonna get wet, might as well go swimming.”
Alison Lohman - Angela