“If I give you one more face lift you're going to be able to blink your lips!”

Rob Reiner - Dr. Morris Packman

“It's The 90s, plastic surgery is like good grooming.”
Goldie Hawn - Elise Elliot Atchison

“She's had plastic surgery. Her face has changed. You won't recognize her. You'll never find her.”

Mary Anna Reyes - Woman in Torture Room

- Stu: I'm a reconstructive surgeon. If anyone has an accident or was born with a deformity, I'm there to help.
- Charlie: And by "deformity" he means small breasts.
- Stu: He's just jealous because he has to clean plaque all day long while I'm out making the world a better place.
Dan Fogler - Stu
Dane Cook - Charlie

“- Tommy Sanz: It's my face, Willie. The guys back home can't stand to look at me. I thought after the second surgery things would change.
- Willie Gratzo: Did you talk to that plastic surgeon?
- Tommy Sanz: He said he wanted to take skin from my ass cheeks and put it on my face. I beat that cocksucker with his own chair.”

Tony Shalhoub - Tommy Sanz
W. Earl Brown - Willie Gratzo