“Eli was stalking you? That is so romantic.”
Sasha Alexander - Jackie Samantha Gold

“- Clementine Kruczynski: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
- Joel Barish: I'm not a stalker. You're the one that talked to me, remember?
- Clementine Kruczynski: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.”
Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“- Elizabeth Carlson: What do you want from me?
- Daniel Jelline: Everything. What do you want from me?
- Elizabeth Carlson: What do I want from you? I didn't break into your apartment, I didn't follow you all over New York.”
Nastassja Kinski - Elizabeth Carlson
Rudolf Chametovič Nureyev - Daniel Jelline

“- Dottie Hinkle: Hello?
- Beverly R. Sutphin: Is this the Cocksucker residence?
- Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!
- Beverly R. Sutphin: Is this Four Two One Five Pussy Way?
- Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!
- Beverly R. Sutphin: Now let me check the zipcode. Two-one-two-fuck-you?”

Mink Stole - Dottie Hinkle
Kathleen Turner - Beverly R. Sutphin

“Dear Mr. Breen. Point one: I have no intention of showing your tasteless letter to Ms. Ross. Point two: I believe there is a law against sending pornography through the mail. Point three: If you should be so ill-advised as to write her any more letters, I can assure you there will be no reply.”
Maureen Stapleton - Belle Goldman