“My father, your son... Holy cannoli, you are my sister!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“He's not my dad, he's my stepdad!”

Simon Pegg - Shaun

“Listen, anything you got to say about your mother-in-law, you don't have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horrormovie, I'd believe it.”
Jonathan Winters - Lennie Pike

“- Lee: We're going to see your Aunt Bessie in Florida. She's not feeling so well.
- Hank: I didn't even knew I had an Aunt Bessie.
- Lee: She came to the house right after your Dad and I were married.
- Hank: I wasn't even born yet.”

Meryl Streep - Lee
Leonardo DiCaprio - Hank

“Five o'clock Christmas morning, I run downstairs and look under the tree and what do I find? Uncle Alfresco, dead on the floor, shot through the back of the head. Plus no bicycle. It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels.”
Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli