“- Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: you don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
- John Beckwith: Rule #16: give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.”

Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.”
Matt Damon - Loki

“Moscow rules. No second chances, no mistakes.”
Ralph Brown - Jeremy Collins

“To this end, I pledge you ships - ships worthy of our seamen - a mighty fleet, hewn out of the forests of England; a navy foremost in the world - not only in our time, but for generations to come.”
Flora Robson - Queen Elizabeth

“After all, what is the United States? A charming cocktail of Irish and Jews. Very spectacular; but very childish. And England? A few old ladies wearing their grandfathers' leather britches.”
Walter Slezak - Major Erich von Keller