“- Corny: You got any interest in reading the Bible?
- Justine Last: I have my own, you know, beliefs.
- Corny: Well, we don't preach fire and brimstone. 10 Commandments, gotta live by those. Other than the usual ways, we're not interested in scaring people. We're about loving Jesus.”
Mike White - Corny
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last

“- Starlene Cheatham: Hey, Watt, who was that?
- Watty Watts: Two asshole Bible salesmen.
- Starlene Cheatham: What'd they want?
- Watty Watts: To save my soul.”
Renee Zellweger - Starlene Cheatham
Gil Bellows - Watty Watts

“- Valentin: Are you a believer?
- Harry D'Amour: Oh, yeah. I signed on for all of them in my time. Catholic, Hindu, Moonies. You can't have too many saviors.”
Joel Swetow - Valentin
Scott Bakula - Harry D'Amour

“I ain't a-going to war. War's killing, and the Book's agin' killing! So war is agin' the Book!”
Gary Cooper - Alvin C. York

“- Judge Francis J. Quincannon: Don't forget the old proverb, Doctor. Never trust a man who doesn't drink.
- Detective William Henry Bloor: Sounds like the Bible. Great book.”
Barry Fitzgerald - Judge Francis J. Quincannon
Roland Young - Detective William Henry Bloor