“- Starlene Cheatham: Hey, Watt, who was that?
- Watty Watts: Two asshole Bible salesmen.
- Starlene Cheatham: What'd they want?
- Watty Watts: To save my soul.”
Renee Zellweger - Starlene Cheatham
Gil Bellows - Watty Watts

“- Corny: You got any interest in reading the Bible?
- Justine Last: I have my own, you know, beliefs.
- Corny: Well, we don't preach fire and brimstone. 10 Commandments, gotta live by those. Other than the usual ways, we're not interested in scaring people. We're about loving Jesus.”
Mike White - Corny
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last

“- Valentin: Are you a believer?
- Harry D'Amour: Oh, yeah. I signed on for all of them in my time. Catholic, Hindu, Moonies. You can't have too many saviors.”
Joel Swetow - Valentin
Scott Bakula - Harry D'Amour

“I learned to read some. I read the Bible quite a bit. I can't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers

“The Bible says two men ought not lay together. But I don't reckon the Good Lord would send anybody like you to Hades.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers