“- Juni Cortez: Eew, gross!
- Carmen Cortez: What do you see?
- Juni Cortez: You.”
Daryl Sabara - Juni Cortez
Alexa PenaVega - Carmen Cortez

“- Romy White: You have absolutely no proof that you're cuter.
- Michele Weinberger: Oh, proof. You want proof? Ok, fine. Who lost their virginity first?
- Romy White: Oh, big wow, with your cousin Barry. I wouldn't brag about it.”
Mira Sorvino - Romy White
Lisa Kudrow - Michele Weinberger

“- Henry Van Cleve: Mother, when one sees a lovely rose...
- Bertha Van Cleve: ...one can be certain she comes from a fine rose bush.”

Don Ameche - Henry Van Cleve
Spring Byington - Bertha Van Cleve

“- Mitch: Okay, look, my family thinks that I'm kind of like, a big fuck-up, and, well, you're smart and pretty and personable. And if I were to bring someone like you home, they'd, you know, think I'm getting my shit together.
- Natalie: You think I'm pretty?”
Michael Doneger - Mitch
Lyndsy Fonseca - Natalie

“- Astrid Magnussen: Looks don't interest me.
- Paul Trout: That's easy for you to say, you've never been ugly.”
Alison Lohman - Astrid Magnussen
Patrick Fugit - Paul Trout