“- Ole Golly: Your father has a high pressure job.
- Harriet M. Welsch: What's a high pressure job?
- Ole Golly: It's when you don't get to do what you want to, and when you do, you don't have enough time for it.”
Rosie O'Donnell - Ole Golly
Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet M. Welsch

“When I graduated first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.”
Norm MacDonald - Frank

“My daddy works on a computer all day, and is the head of his company and he, um, he has a moustache and a beard, and he... he doesn't have a lot of hair, and cuz... um, since his head is so big, he can't wear any hats.”
Sarah Rose Karr - Emma

“My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.”
Miko Hughes - Joseph

“- Bud: What does your daddy do?
- Pam: Daddy does oil… and all that that implies.”
John Travolta - Bud
Madolyn Smith Osborne - Pam