“We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.”
John C. McGinley - Bob Slydell

“- Miles Russell: You have much more hair in your nose than my dad.
- Buck Russell: How nice of you to notice.
- Miles Russell: I'm a kid, that's my job.”
Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell
John Candy - Buck Russell

- Alison Bradbury: You'll never believe what I wanted to be when I was six.
- Walter "Gib" Gibson: A classics professor?
Daphne Zuniga - Alison Bradbury
John Cusack - Walter "Gib" Gibson

“Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.”
George C. Scott - Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson

“- Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
- Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
- Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold