“- PC Danny Butterman: I can't believe I shot someone.
- Nicholas Angel: He's a doctor, he can deal with it.”
Nick Frost - PC Danny Butterman
Simon Pegg - Nicholas Angel

“- T.K. Law: You were shot. You need to be examined.
- Gabriel Law: You can do it.
- T.K. Law: Um, newsflash. I'm a vet. You're not a dog.”
Carla Gugino - T.K. Law
Jet Li - Gabriel Yulaw

“I'm gonna get you to a doctor, and not just any doctor, boychik, I'm gonna find you a nice Jewish doctor.”

Dennis Farina - Cousin Avi

“Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?”

Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“- McCoy: It never rains but it pours.
- James T. Kirk: As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.”

DeForest Kelley - McCoy
William Shatner - James T. Kirk