“Pregnant women should never stand on their tippy-toes, or else the baby will come out all cross-eyed.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to startimposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician

“- Audrey Timmonds: Wait, I don't get it... If he's the first of his kind, how can he be pregnant? Doesn't he need a mate?
- Dr. Niko Tatopoulus: Not if he reproduces asexually.
- Audrey Timmonds: Where's the fun in that?”
Maria Pitillo - Audrey Timmonds
Matthew Broderick - Dr. Niko Tatopoulos

“Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir! Any use of the sexual act other than procreation is a waste of vital energy! Wasted seeds are wasted lives!”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

“Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, ok, promise?”
Dwayne Hill - Coach Carr