“- Frida Kahlo: Don't think I am going to sleep with you just because you took me under your wing.
- Diego Rivera: Before you came along, I was painting murals and womanizing in peace.”
Salma Hayek - Frida Kahlo
Alfred Molina - Diego Rivera

“- Rose: I'm gonna take you to a club, you're gonna meet some young stupid hot guy, and you're gonna take all your anger and aggression out on his penis.
- Meghan: I don't know, I don't do that with penises.”
Gillian Jacobs - Rose
Jan Struther - Meghan

“- Ben Dover: Take your pants off.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I don't even know your name.
- Ben Dover: Bend over.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Ben? Nice to meet you, Victor Hugo.”
Randall 'Tex' Cobb - Ben Dover
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“- Squirrel: Hi, my name is Squirrel. What's yours?
- Georgette: Georgette.
- Squirrel: I suppose a fuck is out of the question?”
Frank Koppala - Squirrel
Ami Julius - Georgette

“- Carola: Preston and I are celebrating the tenth anniversary of the night we first met.
- Margaret: You mean when you thought he was gonna push you up against the wall and rape you?
- Carola: Yes, darling.”
Rae Dawn Chong - Carola
Nicolle Rochelle - Margaret