“- Bugs Bunny: we need your help!
- Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
- Bugs Bunny: Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor.”

Billy West - Bugs Bunny
Michael Jordan - Himself

“C'mon, Michael! It's game time! Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we'll pick up a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark.”
Wayne Knight - Stan Podolak

“You gotta have presence on the court. Presence like a cheetah rather than a chimp. Sure, they both got it, but Chimpy gotta jump his nuts around to get it. The shy cheetah moves with total nonchalance, stickin' it to them in his sexy, slow strut. Me? I play like a cheetah.”

Leonardo DiCaprio - Jim Carroll

“It doesn't matter how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose. And even that doesn't make all that much difference.”

Jay Tarses - Coach Finstock

“I speak, you listen. I don't wanna hear 'can't' or 'won't' or 'Coach, I'm bleeding'. I don't wanna hear anything except the basketball bounce!”

Josh Lucas - Don Haskins