“- Heather: Look where your decency has gotten you. You are the only English-speaking white guy driving a cab in New York. That should tell you something.
- Mickey Fitzpatrick: You know what Heather, I gotta imagine it beats sucking dick for a living though, huh?”
Cameron Diaz - Heather
Edward Burns - Mickey Fitzpatrick

“- Leah Russell: Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
- Sandra Gangel: No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?”
Tameka Empson - Leah Russell
Linda Henry - Sandra Gangel

“- Antoine Laconte: Women pay me to... give them pleasure.
- Deuce Bigalow: How did you get that job?
- Antoine Laconte: I just sort of fell into it.
- Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!”
Oded Fehr - Antoine Laconte
Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow

“- Sweet Daddy Dee: Why do you do what you do?
- Jeff Dunham: Why? Because I enjoy it and it's the best way I know to make money.
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the ho!
- Jeff Dunham: Wait a minute, what if I said I do it only because I enjoy it?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the dumb ho. Ha ha!”
Jeff Dunham - Sweet Daddy Dee
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“- Suzy DeSoto: I'd still like a job.
- Fauna Flood: As what?
- Suzy DeSoto: You know, a... floozy.
- Fauna Flood: Well first off, we don't call ourselves floozies in here. And second, you ever done this kind of thing before?
- Suzy DeSoto: What do you got to do besides lie down?
- Fauna Flood: You gotta pretend that you like it!”
Debra Winger - Suzy DeSoto
Audra Lindley - Fauna Flood