“Old or young, we all make mistakes. And we have to learn that our actions, all of them, can carry serious consequences.”

Matthew Broderick - Jim McAllister

“I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic, Doctor, but we've got a long road ahead of us. It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.”

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Ashtray: Oooh, girl, you so tight!
- Dashiki: Wrong hole, fool!”
Shawn Wayans - Ashtray
Tracey Cherelle Jones - Dashiki

“- Jazz: That weekend was a mistake.
- Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. I'm sorry I made you clean the toilets and the bathtubs, I mean, who did all the work in bed?”
Lauren Holly - Jazz
Andrew Dice Clay - Ford Fairlane

“It's not right to go into details, I got nervous. I screwed up, I said the wrong thing... Where if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead I'm here with you. No offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug.”

Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall