“I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.”
Drew Barrymore - Mary

“- Emma Dinsmore: Does the fact that you called seventeen times last night with no response from me send any kind of signal to you?
- Alex Sheldon: I mean, I'm not an idiot. I figured you probably wanted to talk to me but that your machine was broken.”
Kate Hudson - Emma Dinsmore
Luke Wilson - Alex Sheldon

“- Abby: Say something.
- Brian: I want to make love to you.
- Abby: Never on the first phone call.”

Janeane Garofalo - Abby
Ben Chaplin - Brian

“- Toby Hart: It's for you, Mom. It's Uncle Max.
- Penny Hart: Uncle Max. I don't believe it. Tell him that I'm, uh... Tell him that I'm not here.
- Toby Hart: She says to say she's not here.
- Max Devlin: Huh? Well, then you tell her it's somebody else. I have to talk to her.
- Toby Hart: He says to say he's someone else.”
Adam Rich - Toby Hart
Susan Anspach - Penny Hart
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

- Drew Baylor: I'm gonna have to call you back.
- Heather Baylor: Okay, just dial "hell" and I'll answer.
Orlando Bloom - Drew Baylor
Judy Greer - Heather Baylor