- Phil Davis: How much is "wow"?
- Bob Wallace: It's right in between, uh, between "ouch" and "boing".
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Bing Crosby - Bob Wallace

“There has been a great deal of damaging testimony against you. Your behavior, to say the least, has been most strange. But in the opinion of the court, you are not only sane, but you're the sanest man that ever walked into this courtroom!”

H.B. Warner - Judge May

“You don't have to be a horse to judge a horse show.”

Elizabeth Patterson - Aunt Emma

“I only know that you have to judge people by what you find them to be and not by what other people say they are.”
Maria Ouspenskaya - Madame von Eln

“I came out here with one suit and everybody said I looked like a bum. Twenty years later Marlon Brando came out with only a sweatshirt and the town drooled over him. That shows how much Hollywood has progressed.”
Humphrey Bogart