“- Wendy: Do you know how I got my reputation?
- Pee Wee: How?
- Wendy: In the 8th grade, I didn't know anything. A bunch of guys wanted to get me to go skinny dipping, I didn't want to but I didn't care if they did so I just watched. I thought it was funny, flopping around... the next day I was a slut, the original mattress-back.”
Kaki Hunter - Wendy
Dan Monahan - Pee Wee

“Every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had sex again. It's true, it's one of the secrets that no one ever tells you.”
Meg Ryan - Sally Albright

“That's the one thing you don't do. You don't tell her you took Viagra. I'm pretty sure that's on the warning label.”
Robert Smigel - Barry

“Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.”
Jeffrey Tambor - Sid

“- Vada Sultenfuss: Shelly's already told me all about sex.
- Harry Sultenfuss: She told me too. I mean, she told me she told you about sex. I - I personally knew about sex long before I met Shelly.
- Vada Sultenfuss: I figured you did.”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss
Dan Aykroyd - Harry Sultenfuss