“- Jesus Shuttlesworth: I hate my name. What kind of name is Jesus anyway?
- Jake Shuttlesworth: It's biblical.”
Ray Allen - Jesus Shuttlesworth
Denzel Washington - Jake Shuttlesworth

“- Jack Brown: Angela! Jesus H. Christ!
- Eric Bates: Is that her full name?”
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates

“Jesus made me this way so I could suffer and be reborn the way he wanted me!”
Felicity Huffman - Bree

“Jesus didn't come to free us from pain. He came to give us the strength to bear it.”
Eddie Marsan - Reverend John

That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going: "Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now".
Denis Colin Leary - Himself